There are some people who come into your life for a little while, some people who come into your life biologiacally and you're stuck with them,, and some people who somehow have always been there even though they're not family and you haven't known them that long. The latter of these people are who Phares and Lori Courtney are. They are our friends. They are our neighbors. They are our family. I cannot begin to even explain how much Lori Courtney (and Phares) have helped our family. They have given me a space in their business where I can live out my dream of being a seamstress. They have parented my children especially Jeff . They have given to us as neighbors helping out when they could. But mostly they have been our friends. Friendship isn't easy for a family as large as ours and living next door to our brood is probably a challenge at best. They really know exactly what, when, and where it's going on...like it or not. Lori would do anything she could to make a situation better. And she does it with thoughtfulness and logic...logic is usually not in my character makeup...nope...not at all. So when I say that Lori Courtney literally saved my sanity the night before Jeff's visitation- I am not lying. God placed her at the right place at the right time because I was going down the crazy road and I was going down fast.
Tim and I pulled in from our funeral home visit exhausted both emotionally and physically. I hadn't slept for two days, hadn't eaten, and was barely coping. Lori and Phares were just coming by the driveway when we pulled in. Tim and I got out to chat and at first I was okay, but then when I began to explain that we had just come back from seeing Jeff, I began to falter. I felt as if I was collapsing. My sister Melissa, who was also there, looked at me with sad doe eyes as Lori reached in, helped me up, and took me into the house. I began to weep, really weep uncontrolably. "I can't do this...I can't do this...", I kept saying over and over. I couldn't be controlled. "This is all my fault...no...it is...", I wept. And I was babbling lunacy.
Lori looked at me with tears in her eyes and said firmly, "Yes you can do this. You are doing this. Listen to me- listen. You are a good mother. Jeff loved you. He came back to you. He told you. He was happy. You have to pull yourself out of this enough to mother your other kids and help Tim. They need you." She stood firm even when I tried to argue. "Nope, you're gonna do this. We are all here to help. It's going to be okay... not today, but someday." and I looked into her eyes and I felt safe- almost mothered and certainly sistered. She talked to me for close to a half hour that night. I have never felt so close to the brink of losing it then when I told her how freaked out I was that Jeff was there, alone in that dark place, without me, and how I wanted to break in and stay with him. And she never judged and she never found fault. She just stood firm in the fact that I was stronger than I thought. And to this day everytime I look at her, especially when she's had a rough day, I thank God for her, and all that she is. She took a scared broken mother and turned her back into a wife and a parent. She made me feel sane in an insane situation.
The other thing alot of people don't know about Lori and Phares is their forgiving hearts. Jeff had perhaps caused them a little bit of trouble about a year ago. They had no reason to believe what he told them about the situation, they had pretty solid evidence. But Jeff came to them, gave an explanation, and they took him at his word. So much so that on the Monday that Jeff committed suicide, he was to start a job working for the. When no one else would hire Jeff because of a bad record that he had acumulated over a six month period a couple of years ago, Lori and Phares did. They were willing to take a chance. They didn't have to- no one would find fault with them if they didn't- they just chose to. Because that is who they are- good kind hearted, loving neighbors, willing to help anybody, anytime they can.
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